Depression can kill: How to be positive through depression

If we examine the contribution of women in the American Revolution there will be cause to have hope even in a hopeless situation. Yes the American revolution was started and won mostly by American men, however the role of women, especially in that patriarchal society, was undeniably important for the success of the revolution for Americans.

During the revolutionary war, women were responsible for their households. They had little responsibilities for fighting in the revolutionary war, however their main source of resistance was in boycotting English made products and buying American, weaving to produce needed blankets and clothing, using their households to hold American Soldiers and legislators during the war and raising funds to aid in the war efforts through associations like "The Ladies Association of Philadelphia". Some women, from fear of the British, followed the American soldiers and served as cooks, nurses, spies and sometimes soldiers. These contributions proved necessary for the success of the war and even though the independence did little to improve the rights and equality of women, it shows how women have impacted history. They served in these little ways not knowing the end result. They fought with their skills and their hands based on a faith that their lives and the lives of their families would be better. Even in light of almost insurmountable odds and hardships, the women held on to a slim hope that things would change. Most importantly however, they fought knowing that their husbands, sons, grandsons, uncles and male cousins had fought and died in the war. They lived with the emotional pain and depression that came with their losses and yet still contributed to the efforts. They mustered up the strength to fight and survive with the little they had and with grief and depression in their hearts.

We, as parents need to show the same resilience when we are faced with adversity and depression. We need to hold on to the hope that our circumstances can be better and not focus on what causes us concern. When we focus on the good that can be rather than the negative that is, we are less susceptible to depression and physical illness. Our thoughts most be constantly on the good things in our lives and we will have more drive to wake up in the morning and face the challenges of the day. We should take it one day at a time rather than planning for future grief, depression and hardships. Death, disappointment, depression and struggle are difficult to deal with, but people have overcome it and so I know it is possible to function in light of sorrow. I also find that, just like the women in the revolution, when I grieve or if I am depressed and I am actively involved in helping others to deal with their pain and the issues that concern them, I have less time to think about myself and my grief so I can function better.

Grief and depression should not be dealt with alone. People who face grief require support and nothing is better than great family and friends to provide this. So if someone is in mourning, they should stick close to family and close friends.

We most also consider that most people passes through the stages of grief that the Kubler Ross Model purports. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. How quickly someone can reach to the point where they accept their circumstances depends on the person, as acceptance may take a day or a decade. As such, those who grieve should have patients with themselves because accepting death or anything else that causes you grief may take a while.

My ex-husband died three years ago due to a long term illness. Sadly, the illness was brought on by depression. We were divorced before his illness and so we were not really in touch, but based on what my children said, he became very depressed after the divorce and stopped caring for himself. Just to be brief, he was a diabetic and so his cuts healed at a much slower rate than the average person. One day, he cut his finger while fixing a blender. He did not seek treatment. His finger became infected and swollen and after weeks of our family preaching to him about the state of his hand, he finally felt the need to go to the doctor, but he refused to take his medication. The infection eventually spread to his entire hand and the doctors had to amputate his finger and then his hand and he became even more depressed. He still refused to take his medication and developed further infections. His blood pressure went up and he had a minor heart attack. He further deteriorated as the infection spread to his leg which a surgeon had to remove. Then depression had led him to stop eating, and so his body could not fight the infection that was now throughout his entire body. He eventually passed away late one night. Based on discussions with my children, he never once tried to be positive throughout his illness. My ex husband focused on all the bad things that had happened to him throughout his life, lost hope and his body responded negatively. It was so obvious that the hospital sought psychiatric help for him which never helped because he refused to open up to the psychiatrist. He died not just because he was a diabetic, but because he did not expect anything better from his life and thought that he had nothing to live for. Please don't fall in the same trap, as it's difficult for the person going through it, but even worse for family and friends who have to watch it happen.